: Jokes ... And ... Jokes

12-29-2008, 05:08 PM
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctors office

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you dont follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die

Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him

Dont burden him with chores. Dont discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him

If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, What did the doctor say

He said youre going to die, she replied

12-30-2008, 11:57 PM
Professor : What three words are the most used by college students
Student : I don't know
Professor : Absolutely correct

01-03-2009, 08:04 AM
Teacher : I killed a person, convert this sentence into future tense

Student : The future tense you will go to jail

01-05-2009, 06:05 PM
A friend of mine received an SMS during duty from his wife at home
it says:

There have been many times in 2008 when I may disturbed you..

Troubled you..

Irritated you...

Begged you...

Today I just want to tell you that ,Im planning to continue it in 2009....


01-08-2009, 10:58 PM
the only time some married men ever get to open their mouth
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together

01-25-2009, 12:12 AM
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
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A book which people praise, but do not read
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A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
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A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

04-10-2009, 10:47 AM
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.

05-07-2009, 12:24 PM
A man goes to his shrink and says: I think my wife is trying to put the poison in my drink! the shrink says: I will talk to her, come to see me tomorrow.
the next day the man goes to his shrink's office, the shrink says: ok, I spoke with your wife for 3 hours... take the poison

07-11-2009, 05:34 PM
Last month, a world- wide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your

honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of

the world?"

The survey was a huge failure because...:

In Africa they didn't know what food?means.

In Eastern Europe they didn't know what honest? means.

In Western Europe they didn't know what shortage? means .

In China they didn't know what opinion? means.

In the Middle East they didn't know what solution" means.

In South America they did n't know what please? means.

In the USA they didn't know what the rest of the world? means